Ayvaunn Penn: What If You Were Beaten by Your Husband On Your Wedding Night?

Ayvaunn Penn from Your Black Poets presents “The Power of Silence” by E. D. Arrington out of Wilson, North Carolina.

 

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  • Berdell

    One time should be enough,profound poem. Teach our girls love doesn’t hurt.

    • bajookie

      Amen! Too many women stick around and end up losing their lives. 

  • Berdell

    One time should be enough,profound poem. Teach our girls love doesn’t hurt.

  • S.T.

    YOU LEAVE! That’s the first thing you do. If you don’t have a place to go to, organize to find one, or find a shelter. It only gets worse, if you stay around. There is something in that woman’s personality that make that man believe he can beat her and get away with it. I’m not suggesting that it is the woman’s fault. But I know that there are certain types of women these “beaters” will never marry or date, because they seem to know instinctively it won’t fly. I’ve seen this with bullies. They don’t just pick on anyone. there are certain “types” they pick on. these are the people they consider weak. I have definitely seen this. kids who are bullies will not intentionally go after those who will knock the “crap” out of them. A former criminal, on TV, once stated that even criminals know who to go after. He went into detail the type of person a criminal looks for. Why do they look for a certain type person? Because if they commit the crime, they want to get away with it. It’s no different ,with a man or woman who beats on their mate. The person being beaten has to make the first move, get counseling, and if you really love your spouse/mate, get them to counseling, if they will go. You can give excuses (kids, lack of income, he’s not that bad, love, lack of self
    esteem, procrastinate,) it doesn’t matter. In fact, the fact that you would even make an excuse for something like this is a SIGN that something is wrong with YOU! Your man/mate has a problem that your hanging around is not going to solve. The fact that you stayed, in a twisted way, (to them) justifies them doing it. If you want to send a resounding message that you’re not going to take it – LEAVE. You MUST take the initiative. Get out of the situation, first. If not, it will only get worse until you do.

    • S’DAD

      There had to be obvious signs meaning temperament, attitudes prior to marriage.This sistah just had to have this abuser, than come crying to Dr. Boyce for advice after the wedding vows. Ok, listen up although you’re not going to heed any suggestions. Move out immediately with the male family members or the authorities standing by to keep you safe. Second, apply for an Annulment. Third, seek professional help, because I suspect your saw the Red Flags and chose to ignore them. Now, for those that initiate arguments and a lot of you women do without provocation. When your man come in from work (if he does work) and trying to relax, get a glass of sweet tea, take a good swig, swish it around in your mouth, don’t swallow, keep swishing until he retires for the evening, you’ll see how effective and peaceful it can be, keeping your mouth shut!!

      • Nii-Kootse

        Thank You very much for advise. Please it is worth so much for you to be there! Just keep cool, allow me to come out of the stress from driving, walking. the change in atmosphere.
        Just like we do when new babies come!

        . . . and you will see the wonders, . . . keeping your mouth shut!

        • Aaron

          THE LAST PART WAS A JOKE…SWISHING SWEET TEA

  • Meanchick

    Sadly, there were signs before this happened, but too many times women ignore their own gut feelings because they want to be in a relationship or married. I hate to be so harsh, but once you are beaten and then remain in the situation, you are no longer a victim, but a volunteer. The story never changes, yet the abused women (and sometimes men) stay thinking they can change their abuser. How many times are we going to hear the same story? Once he (or she) hits you, they will continue to do so! PERIOD! I don’t know of one situation like this where it ended well. A beat down on your wedding night is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a prequel to what will happen to you from that point on. Apologies, gifts, blaming you for his (or her) behavior is part of that cycle. I’m sorry, but we’ve seen this too much to think that an abuser will just suddenly stop abusing.

  • Meanchick

    Sadly, there were signs before this happened, but too many times women ignore their own gut feelings because they want to be in a relationship or married. I hate to be so harsh, but once you are beaten and then remain in the situation, you are no longer a victim, but a volunteer. The story never changes, yet the abused women (and sometimes men) stay thinking they can change their abuser. How many times are we going to hear the same story? Once he (or she) hits you, they will continue to do so! PERIOD! I don’t know of one situation like this where it ended well. A beat down on your wedding night is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a prequel to what will happen to you from that point on. Apologies, gifts, blaming you for his (or her) behavior is part of that cycle. I’m sorry, but we’ve seen this too much to think that an abuser will just suddenly stop abusing.

  • Rosalyn Upshaw

    I’d be in jail on the next day!!

  • Anonymous

    She needs to leave.

  • Barbara2

    I was.  I called the cops, put his tail out, and went to work the next day as though nothing had happen.  I put my foot down, and explained to thim and the cops…nobody will abuse me the way my father and stepfather did my mother.  I did not cry, I stood tall, and told my new husband I will meet him in hell first.

  • Ms. Tanya

    The first time may be Your last time. Dont give him the chance to do it again!! NOONE should ever put their hands on you and get away with it…NOONE!!! I was apart of an abrusive relationship I loved him but he ruin my life and I took it back.. I was with him 5yrs and he start hitting on me in the third year… I thought we could work it out but it got worst and worst as the years past. The first time I let it slide because I thought it was my fault but the next I felt I was getting closer and closer to my death bed. I sent him to jail twice but each time I was there with open arms for him and his love for me. NOW I know it was not love but he truly needed HELP..

  • Guest

    You needed
    to leave his Asssh right after that beating & call the cops on his weak
    Assh, but it would only follow reason, that an event such as this, didn’t happen
    over night!

    NO!!

    That action
    has occurred way to many times and prior to this Lady documenting this on YBN!

    Life’s
    Strongest Lesson:

    Be TRUE to
    SELF FIRST!!!