Dr. Boyce: Hallmark’s Father’s Day Card for Black Women- What the Hayell?

I couldn’t help but notice that Hallmark has issued a Father’s Day card for black women.   I’ll admit to being taken aback by the sheer thoughtlessness of this endeavor, while studying the image of the strong and defiant black woman standing on the cover of the card, taking pride in the fact that she’s holding it down while those “trifling ass negroes” are out there doing only God-knows-what.  From what’s been reported, these “Happy Father’s Day Mom” cards are used mostly for the Mahogany line at Hallmark, which focuses on the African American community – it appears that someone has been doing their demographic research.

The card made me think about my daughters, who don’t need yet another image, song or slogan that makes them look forward to becoming somebody’s baby’s mama, without giving a second thought to doing the hard work necessary to create a stable and sustainable family structure (we also had long conversations when Fantasia’s Baby Mama theme song came out a few years ago).   Anyone who’s spent time in urban communities realizes that there is a powerful trend of young people having children without thinking about the fact that two parents should be raising a child together.  One girl I mentor in “the hood,” who had several aunts working as single moms, actually asked me, “Do you know anybody who’s married?  I don’t know anybody who gets married.”

My biological father ran for the hills when I was a baby, but my mother never gloated over the fact that he was gone or acted as if he was irrelevant. During World War II, when white men were off fighting for their country, Hallmark didn’t create a Father’s Day card for white women.  While millions of single black mothers do a wonderful job of raising their children, the last thing we need to do is institutionalize and immortalize the crisis of the black family in America.

I’m not sure who runs the Racial Decision-Making Department at Hallmark, but this is certainly a decision that should be reconsidered.  Black women are already painted by America to be aggressive, hyper-masculine creatures who are unable to create productive families.  Black men are portrayed as shiftless, lazy buffoons who sprint in the other direction at any sign of accountability.  While both of these stereotypes hold true in too many contexts, we must exalt those who seek out a higher purpose and keep our families together.

Memo to Hallmark: Father’s Day is a holiday for fathers.  A father is defined by Webster’s Dictionary to be “A man who has begotten a child.”   It is not defined as “The woman who raises the child when there is no man around.”  As a father myself, I am offended that Hallmark would simply write black dads out of the equation and hand the family penis over to the mother.  Sure, the mother’s hard work should be celebrated, but perhaps this company can still engage in its standard corporate opportunism by creating a separate holiday that focuses on single mothers of all racial backgrounds, and not just hijack a holiday that is meant for men who care about their kids – that would be like me turning Hanukkah into Christmas Part II because I never had the chance to be Jewish.

The problem of fatherlessness in black America is not simply some cultural phenomenon that black people suddenly and inexplicably decided to embrace.  Half a century ago, most fathers were present in the homes of their children.  The dramatic increase in fatherless homes is directly related to the joint crises of mass incarceration and unemployment that have hit the black community like Hurricane Katrina, making it difficult for many men to provide for their families – these conditions bred a set of cultural norms in which we were all somewhat complicit in accepting the status quo, rather than fighting the systemic obstacles that led to the demise of our community.  Individual behavior serves to perpetuate the crisis, but structural factors created conditions that fueled unhealthy coping mechanisms – the same way that Michael Vick’s puppies might have chosen to kill one another, but they’d have never learned to kill had they not been locked in cages, starved and forced to fight one another for survival.

Economic struggles are no excuse for not being there for your children (as I expressed in my Father’s Day article), but we must also realize that many young men today are being raised without a father to show them the responsibilities of being a dad, and many young girls are being raised to believe that you can and should do everything on your own without dealing with a man or a relationship.  So, while personal irresponsibility certainly plays a role in the lack of fathers in the home, we can also point to broader institutional constructs such as the prison industrial complex (and even Hallmark’s perceived celebration of the missing black father) as prominent factors in this sad state of affairs.

While the loyalties of black mothers to their children is nothing short of heroic, we must get away from buying into the notion that black men are subhuman animals who love their children less than white men do.  Millions of black dads like myself, as well as the mothers of our children, are offended by the idea of writing the father out of the equation altogether, as if we aren’t meant to exist.  Also, there are fathers who don’t have the opportunity to be in the home with their children who don’t enjoy having their role minimized by having to give away equity in a special day that was designed for them.

Hallmark’s decision to create a Father’s Day card for black women engages in the act of celebrating a dysfunction, increasing the likelihood that the dysfunction eventually becomes as acceptable as the normal state of affairs.  Suddenly, in the minds of some, it’s cooler to be a single black mom than to be a married mother raising her children with a partner – I want my girls to plan their families with a higher purpose in mind, and Hallmark isn’t helping with that endeavor.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University and founder of the Your Black World Coalition.  To have Dr. Boyce commentary delivered to your email, please click here.

 

  • SapphiresMomma

    *Y A W N*

    Another useless, unimportant commentary from Dr. Watkins.

    • sweetgabrown

      tHE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE
      AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING
      APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THAT’S
      WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT !  IF IT WAS SO UNIMPORTANT WHY  WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME COMMENTING…. 

    • Clwho2004

      PLEASE ALLOW OTHERS VIEWS AND OPINIONS TO BE AS IMPORTANT AS YOURS.

  • Putting_ideas_into_words

    I regularly read you comments and you really articulate wonderful perceptions and beliefs.  As we have spoken in the past, and I know you are busy, I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss how to get educ
    ation back on track.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12609459 William Craig Golston

      this was the most ridiculous commentary that i’ve heard in awhile and i’m a black man.  here we go again, majoring in minors…the card was created to give thanks for black women that by an inordinate number play both the roles of mother and father; even in homes that have both.  worrying about this card is not a significant as worrying bout these rappers and r&b singers who constantly promote negative and highly provocative imagery to our youth, yet we say nothing about them….this is exactly why we are described as a people who have all the talent and potential in the world and fail to reach it because people like boyce claim to speak for ALL blacks when they don not.

      • MATBoh2cute

        Mr. Golston,
        Thank you so very much, your comment is straight to the point! I used to, I said, I used to read this man’s commentaries religiously but it appears to me he is becoming another Cornel West. “Lord help us.” My apologies Mr. Golston if you’re a fan of Mr. West!! Back to the Commentary, a freelance writer/artist probably submitted her/his (I put ‘her’ first) work to Hallmark and they found it to be creative and thoughtful, so the art director, the graphic designer, etc., etc., agreed to print and distribute the creators work to honor mother’s also! Not to prove that we want to be depicted as strong men or take the place of an absent father, “it shows appreciation” to the mom…I agree 100% Mr. Golston, this was the most ridiculous commentary I have ever read…HALLMARK Cards is really going to skyrocket in sales now. AND Dr. Watkins just made the writer/artist very famous and resourceful, I pray she/he is African American. I am also taken aback that Dr. Watkins took it so personal and serious, ” No one is trying to take anyone’s manhood.” If you teach your girls respect, love, pride, and dignity they won’t grow up to be “Somebody’s Baby’s Mama.” I am so shocked, are you FEMALPHOBIC?? Dr. Watkins’ analogies are also somewhat disturbing, and the women jumping in the wagon with him should stand straight, get a backbone and stop appeasing. Thank you Mr. Golston, thank you, I so respect you for coming forward!!

  • Putting_ideas_into_words

    Really we must consider the identity of the black male in the role of the family and in society.  The black man has long been demonized, systematically and institutionally.  We are targeted.  I too am a father of beautiful children and appreciate them everyday.  I hate that someone was so insensitive to the whole of the black community to present such an undesirable character description of the black woman and the black man.

  • Gcarroll45

    Dr. Watkins, Thank you for this commentary.  I could not agree more with every word.  I have always been a big fan of “its a Hallmark” cards. but for me, this is just over the top.  I have to wonder how many more ways will American society find to minimize the importance of our Black brothers, fathers and grand . Just because a woman is raising her kids with out the daddy does not deserve kuddos, its a tragedy.  What? lets celebrate the poor choices we have made???

    • JC

      @Gcarroll45, I agree the CARD in many cases (not all) celebrates the poor choices some women have made..  Besides, mothers have their own day— it’s called MOTHER’S DAY. 

  • Jamesderek

    It seems that alot a Black Women actually like this kind of stuff. Ok ladies help bring the MAN down. Just because your choice in men hurt you, don’t put every Blackman down. That card should have never been made!!!!!!!

    • JC

      @Jamesderedk,the CARD should never been created/made OR bought/purchased –PERIOD!!!!!         JC.

    • MATBoh2cute

      You are not understanding a thing, read the card and read the commentary again!! There are no words on the card to implicate “black women trying to bring the black man down or disrespect the black man.” Dr. Boyce Watkins started this mess, he said it not the card…. and the women agreeing with him are as blind and backward as he is!! …

  • Belkin Laster

    I understand there are single black women who are raising their families. At the same time, I can say the same thing for white women who are raising their families as well without any help. Is there a card celebrating these white women, or even hispanic, asian, or indian mothers? Yeah, I know statistics looooove to focus on the faults of black people. Hell every damn day on the news or in the paper or on the radio, there’s always a biased and carefully slanted study concluding somehow blacks are on the bottom. Father’s Day is to celebrate all fathers who provide for their families while displaying love and care. So why make an attempt to take away from the black American manhood based on the constant barrage of news reports – and even our President – talking about what black men as a whole should do for their families. Yes, I witness many single parent homes run by black women AND single black men. But I have also seen homes with two loving parents trying their best to provide for their family. There is work to do within our own community, but I am so sick of the mainstream media using the examples of some individuals as accurate justification for painting our entire race one way.

  • http://www.facebook.com/twyche Terrill Wyche

    The big elephant in the room is the lack of a response by ANY of the civil right organizations. Forget about all the other things. Anything else is tangential and only avoids treating the issue. The reason that these type of products are reaching the shelves is because the companies KNOW that they will not be pressured to remove them. Our leadership is powerless and broken…Period!

  • monica

    I agee with your comments.  Saying that, I just want to let you know that these cards are not new.  My daughter is 29 and I have gotten several halmark cards for me as a mom on Father’s Day over the years.

    • JC

      @monica,no disrespect to you & your daughter’s Father’s Day tradition of sending you cards on daddy’s day. BUT, may I suggest sending Father’s Day, Thinking of You or thoughtful cards to decent,hard working,respectable or just nice guy(s) in your family,church,community,job or live on your block (mailman,store owner,security guy, cop,fireman,etc.) on that special day. OR just say happy father’s day to as many men as possible to remind them they are dads & they are important too.  We must all make it a tradition to SEEKOUT & REMIND fathers in our families and the black community that they are needed & important too.  

    • RySy

      @Monica… At some point, either by you or by someone else, a terrible message was sent to your daughter. As mothers we do what is necessary to raise our children to be healthy and productive adults. If the school is lacking, we pick up the slack, same goes for all things that we have control over. I am the product of divorce and I thank my mother (God rest her soul) for always extending me to my father who definitely had shortcomings but was nonetheless, my dad. She was an excellent MOTHER for many reasons including that she never bashed nor emasculated my father. I came to my own understanding of who he was and even then she reminded me that people do what they know to do. We should all concentrate more on being the best that we can be and less on the choices of others. All the best to you and your daughter.

  • Rgilda5

    This is racist exploitation, or as I quoted in my book “Arrested Development: The State of Black Achievement and Education in Hip-Hop America,” what former Black Panther member James Boggs referred to as “capitalism supporting racism and racism supporting capitalism.” That is what this is. Hallmark is capitalizing on the ills of the Black community and as Black folks we’ve fallen for it hook line and sinker, when we purchase these cards. The reaity is that there are sisters out there, including myself, who has had to be mother and father to my daughter. But as a race of people we must recognize CAPITALISM at its lowest common denominator and reject something such as these cards. Hallmark is getting rich off of our shortcomings as a race of people. We’ve lost sight of our conscious compass. We need to be educating our children about “capitalism supporting racism and racism supporting capitalism and not feed into the nonsense.  

  • Denise

    Sorry Boyce my sons also tell and send me Fathers Day cards. There father has not stepped up to the plate since we divorce. He lives within 20miles and work daily. We as Black women have had to be mama and daddy. I have. So we take that honor. Not because we don’t daddy involved but because they are not. We would rather have dads that are there teaching our sons to be men and our daughters what a man should be. So hats of to Hallmark. It’s just to bad there’s a need for such as card on Fathers Day.

  • jenkinsk

    I assume African American employees at Hallmark invented these Father’s Day cards.

    In a lot of cases we blame allegedly white owned companies for what black employees create, invent, etc.

  • Anonymous

    I remember talking to an friend, and as I wished her a belated happy Mothers day on Father’s day, she stated that “it’s happy father’s day for her too”! She indeed took over both roles after the father passed when her son was very young. She feels that she’s done both jobs very well. I must concur with her assessment because she made sure her son was surrounded by good male role models. He’s in college now and I’m quite proud of him.
     The card is a novel idea for those who actually want to purchase one. I suppose there were a number of requests made for that certain type of card. People can actually make their own cards if they choose to. It’s very easy to do with computers today.

  • Anonymous

    I feel like this is ridiculous.  Fathers who actually take care of their children are already significantly overlooked.  Yes there is a high rate of single parent households in the black  community that are headed by women.  However, what about the men who ARE taking care of their kids.  They are stepped on because of the bashing that takes place on fathers day.  Stuff like this will continue to hold us down.  Not everyone is fortunate to have a father in the home unfortunately, but those who are don’t need to constantly reminded that YOU don’t.  It makes me feel bad to even bring up that I was raised in a single parent household headed by my father.  

    • sweetgabrown

      @ANNON989… SO SO CORRECT! TO EVEN PUT THIS DUMB CARD OUT ON A DAY THAT IS NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED FOR MEN WHO HAVE FATHERED A CHILD MADE NO SENSE…T HE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE
      AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING
      APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THATS
      WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT… YOU ARE SO CORRECT IT WAS RI-GOT-DANG-DICULOUS!!!

  • past 70

    I have always love my black men.  I have told so many for them , how proud I am of them. And thank God for them who can step in to be a father for the fatherless.  Girl are not told that they are only prey for  young man who are looking for a release. She doesn’t realize that she will carry the ball for the rest of her life. And sometimes alone. Her young body is changes also. Neither of them realize that babies are little people too and need both parents. She doesn’t know how to be a mother, how could she be told “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY” So many black women have been mothers and fathers since slavery. Now it is a habit.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PYWQ4L6Z75MMLWT3X3XZJPFXDQ Health

    Okay PAST 70 you need to learn how to read and write

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PYWQ4L6Z75MMLWT3X3XZJPFXDQ Health

    WE can find out who CREATED the cards because believe it or not there are less than 100 designers maybe less than 50 and have them EXPLAIN! I am a BLACK WOMAN and I think we are the only race of women who are overtly and disproportionately disrespected by every race of men and WOMEN because BLACK MEN have little or no respect for BLACK WOMEN and BLACK WOMEN or most of them THINK disrespect is a compliment or cute and most have no respect for themselves. STOP celebrating the fact you have children by trifling Black Men who don’t take of their children. The first may be a preventable mistake but the second, third and fourth are bad decisions. When Black Women stop acting Trifling Black men will. Furthermore if I see another Black woman with blue contacts or blond Hair I am gonna croak. The elders are passing and so is our history

    • sweetgabrown

      @ HEALTH  I WAS WITH YA UP UNTIL THE POINT OF THE BLACK WOMEN  THINK DISRESPECT IS A COMPLIMENT PART… SMH… TRY TO COMPREHEND WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS EXACTLY ABOUT  AND NOT GET YOUR EMOTIONS INVOLVED. YOU ARE CORRECT ON THE LEVEL OF RESPECT THAT WOMEN FROM OUR CULTURE RECEIVE COMPARED TO OTHER RACES… .. THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE
      AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING
      APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THAT’S
      WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT

  • Roznylcsw

    Dr. Boyce’
    In memory of my very present, very loving and dedicated Black  father who departed this life in 1996, I wholeheartedly agree and support your statements. I am sick of the perception that all Black men are just sperm donors!!! I am a single adoptive mother who has never belittled or devalued the role of men in my daughter’s life. She has loving uncles who have been father figures for her and I thank God for their influence and presence. As Black women we don’t need Hallmark to perpetuate hatred and disrespect for Black men in the guise of a compliment to us. We got ours on Mothers’ Day.
    Peace.

    • Brook

      I love your comment! 

    • Lori Cyphers-Ervin

      I will share your Quoted comment on my fb page under Lori Cyphers-Ervin! 

    • Lori Cyphers-Ervin

      I will share your Quoted comment on my fb page under Lori Cyphers-Ervin! 

    • Clwho2004

      I really appreciate your comment. Is it possible that we could use this comment on PORCHTALK? This is an internet show that will be airing July 30th. Please contact at PORCHTALK as soon as possible.

  • JSmith

    I am in accord with Dr. Boyce’s comment regarding the Father’s Day card issue.  Confess.  I also must confess that in past years, a best friend and I would exchange Father’s Day cards because of our personal struggle.  In my maturity though, I realize that my children’s dad was more of an undesireable husband than father.  But more importantly, as fond as I am of the fatherhood of my father (I was a daddy’s girl) and the fatherhood of my son, and my brothers, not to consider other great black men, I must remember to keep the focus on
    the general population.  In a nutshell, we must honor our men.  They are deserving.  Thank you Dr. Boyce for your article.  If there is a move to get Hallmark to destroy that card, I will participate.  Mrs. Smith

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_O4RPCOM5PO7PUDENF5ISJDZC64 pamela

    Willie Lynch At work again… yet do we allow such debasing of our black man, our strength our head. The ignore black woman harmonize to the ploy of the greatest creation. Wake up black woman for in doing so… you raze your own existence. Mrs. Black Willie Lynch please sit down!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_O4RPCOM5PO7PUDENF5ISJDZC64 pamela

    Willie Lynch At work again… yet do we allow such debasing of our black man, our strength our head. The ignore black woman harmonize to the ploy of the greatest creation. Wake up black woman for in doing so… you raze your own existence. Mrs. Black Willie Lynch please sit down!

  • Brook

    I never thought that black women were aiming to become men.  Why in the hell would I want to get a card on Father’s Day? 

    • sweetgabrown

      EXACTLY!! SOME OF THESE COMMENTATORS  ON THIS BLOG ARE MISSING THE POINT… AND THEY DON’T HAVE GOOD READING COMPREHENSION SKILLS LOL

  • Nspiredbrace

    Dr. Boyce, Hearing of this Hallmark Card reminds me of the positions that we as black women have put ourselves in over the years. maybe not of our doing so much as a society issue that we still in our mind are back in slavery when our men was taken from the family, and still today they are being taken by institutions,drugs, should I mention (white women?) and we believe that we fill that space being both parents. in reality that can never, never be so. A women can never replace what a man can do for the family, just as a Man can never replace what a woman can do. We have to get away from that image. I had two cousins wish me a “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY” last weekend, and I thought “what the hayell”? Let the men take their place as the male role model, as fathers, brothers, uncles, male cousins, MEN. and let us as women not be so hard that we believe that we can replace the BLACK MAN. could that be why we are losing them? This Hallmark card “You deserve your day, we have our day, it is called MOTHER’S DAY? We can’t keep duplicating our roles, Father and Mother, I don’t think so. I believe that that would give us the high honor of F#*KING ourselves. These days I don’t think that this is what we want. We don’t need a same sex mate. and we don’t need to continue to be alone. Don’t give in to that “YOU HAVE BEEN THE FATHER AND THE MOTHER DRAMA” If you did it alone you did it as a mother. Same if you did it alone as a father. There should be a lot of discussion on this topic that should be brought to the front for clear understanding.

  • Lgthomas7

    It doesn’t matter what race the person is that distributed this, Hallmark Cards will be held accountable, I for one will spend my money elsewhere.  Thank you for this article.

  • Ervinlori

     1-800-HALLMARK (1-800-425-5627)
    MAIL:Hallmark Customer Service
    P.O. Box 419034
    Mail Drop 216Kansas City, Missouri 64141
    I’m writing Hallmark today….You should too

  • Anonymous

    Dr. Boyce and so many of the posters here seem to be assuming that black women are ‘choosing’ to raise kids alone.   From my perspective, this is not now nor has it ever been the case.   Men leave, men choose to be absent from their kids lives.   Sure, some are on dope, some are in prison, some are unemployed.   But in each case they CHOSE a lifestyle that they knew would prevent them from being a constant in their kids lives.  So women learned to suck-it-up and do the best they can for their kids, ALL BY THEMSELVES.   Not because they wanted it that way but because the men in their lives left them no other option.   To have a card for them on Father’s Day is the minimum they deserve.

    Part of the current culture in the black community is the accepted disrespect of women displayed through the lyrics in a lot of black music.  According to this culture, men are admired for sexing and bedding as many women as they can before moving on to the next one.   After all, most women are just bitches and whores.  Raping and gang banging are glorified.   So women who refuse to succumb to this denigration and who develop the strength and self esteem to forge on and prosper despite their circumstances are now being told that it’s their fault that the men chose to disappear ?   Where are the blogs full of indignation about the way women are constantly disrespected by men in the black community ? 

    My father was a wonderful man that was in my life until his untimely death.   And my husband and life partner is also a wonderful father to our son and has been a constant in his life.   But, unfortunately, these two wonderful men are the exceptions in the black community – not the norm.   And please don’t try to blame whitey for this predicament because black women have faced the same kind of prejudices that black men have (plus being raped by both white and black), yet most of us emerged stronger and more independent – not just surviving but thriving.   So if we ended up wearing the pants in the house it was because no one else had them on.   There is such a thing as personal responsibility and it is time that black men stop blaming ‘the man’, the racist institutions, the drugs, the jails, and whatever other rationalizations they come up with.    

    • Firashibibi

      Well said!  Thank you.

    • Janet Reed

      This is truth to reality (Kirby)-however I believe there is also a subliminal message behind the idea, the manifestation of the”Fathers’ day card for Mothers- I taugt my boy child to behave responsibly, as a single mother with determination so that as my aspiring young man matured, he would respect all mankind; not allowing his teaching to become contaminated with doctrines such as the Willie Lynch letter and The making of a Slave-(like the onset of a chancre that manifests pustules of purulent inflamed contagiousness), we should be careful to prevent such an onset through preventive measures.  Jesus’ Father (not Joseph), God-Jesus’ example-was not physically present but was part of his higher level of consciousness-or a “Spritual” Father – as universally taught-He went about His Father business, teaching, instructing good moral and spritual behavior. 
      Boyce Watkins has simply forged readers to evaluate what happening within our society.  The genitalia does not ditate ones responsiveness to responsibility, however economical and social depression most diffinitely will-and so we have to recognized the design, the 400 years of conditioning, through oppression, repression, suppression and all else.  Women stand behind thier men, white and black alike-Jugde ClarenceThomas, Arnold Schawzengger, former Pres. Clinton, John Edwards, R. Kelly, and even Bishop E. Long are examples of this capitalist society at best.  Money, and the intellect of some liars (LoL) I mean Lawyers, helps to filtrate imperfections, keeping the bandwagoners amused.  
      I can’t express enough how important it is for Black American Men to engulf and spearhead the Black Family Unit-Pull your pants up!  Protect the women from rhectoric (Aristotle:”the faculty of discovering in any particular case all of the available means of persausion.”) contaminated as the word nigger when used to descibed people of color.  read “The Niggers Owners Manual”
      I’m a proud Black Woman who has had to wear many hats necessary to get the job; I also acknowlege that I Am and can do all things through my Spritual Father.
      We come into life knowing nothing-then we succom to the teachings of anothers perception or deception:) For whom the shoe fits let them wear it!

    • Anonymous

      Actually, had you not written this, I would have. It appears to me that Dr. Boyce has a low regard for Black women. I have observed his comments about Black women over the years, so his blaming Black women for Black men not handling their business does not surprise me. Having said that, I too was raised by both my parents, and have been married for 14 years, however, I know that for many of my sisters, raising their children alone this is a reality, and not because they did not try to work it out with their men, but because had they not moved on, these men would have brought them completely down. I know first hand that there are many good Black men out there who handle their business and I celebrate these men and am proud of them.There are, however, too many African American men who do not. Had Black woman continued to sit at home waiting for these guys to validate them, as was there practice in the past, instead of accepting dating, relationship, and marriage offers from interested African American men as well as others, some Black men might still be able to fool the world about our being the least desirable and worthwhile women — while projecting their shortcomings onto us. Unfortunately, the gig is up and they will have to, in the end, stand on their own record. Peace.

      • sweetgabrown

        OK FOR THE SECOND TIME YOU ALL ARE NOT READING THE ARTICLE CORRECTLY.. IN THE ARTICLE HE SAID MANY TIMES THE HEROIC APPRECIATION FOR SINGLE MOTHER IN THE AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY!  THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE
        AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING
        APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THAT’S
        WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT!

    • sweetgabrown

       your missing the point…. THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THATS WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT

  • Callowaybarbara

    I think that maybe there are Mothers that have been both Mothers and Fathers to their children.. Myself, I raised my children single-handedly – the Father of my children passed away and instead of bringing in a substitue of re-marrying, I opted to take on the responsibility myself,  I participated in Sports wetn to the Father son activities as best I could an wore both hats, If my children decided to honor me on Father’s Day as well, so be it I felt that I deserved that extra acknowledgment.  Everyone was not as fortunate to have the opportunity to have an additional Father figure, I am for it to each his own.

    From a Proud Parent

  • http://www.mosquitonet.com/~prewett/ John Prewett

    “The dramatic increase in fatherless homes is directly related to the joint crises of mass incarceration and unemployment that have hit the black community like Hurricane Katrina, making it difficult for many men to provide for their families  ……………….”

    Also due to the very existence of the welfare system  which [combined with the onslought of family destructive “feminist” thinking],  persuaded many women to believe they didn’t need a man’s support nearly as much.  

    For this I don’t blame Blacks.  Nor do I blame common Whites.  

    The family destructive  Welfare trap  [and “feminist stuff] was implemented by “elites” [who were nearly all White].   

    As White “elites” also enacted policies that destroyed/drove away much of American manufacturing thereby increasing unemployment.

  • guest

    As a proud, single, Black mother, I want to express how disappointed I am with regards to Dr. Boyce’s comment.  I am so frustrated with my people always blaming someone else for our faults.  My child’s father lives only 10 miles away, and only saw his child for 33 hours during the entire year of 2010.  He has not seen his child for the entire year of 2011.  Mind you, he is an educated  Black man, retired military man, but lacks the responsibility of a father, whether he is Black or White male or female.  I LOVE my Black men, they are the prime example of the most handsome, masculine man in this world.  However, they need to MAN up.  It is not Hallmark’s fault for the way our men are behaving, it is ours.  My mama taught her daughters that if you spread your legs be prepared to raise a baby.  As a mother of a young Black boy, I teach him the same thing.  If you can lay down with someone, be prepared to raise a baby.  It takes two to make a baby (the way GOD designed it), so the same two who made a baby needs to raise that baby.  However, so many of our men have skipped out leaving Black women to raise the child.  So, if my son wants to buy his mama a father’s day card, then so be it.  To me, he sees the work I am putting in and understands the role of a father, something he strives to be when he has kids. 

    Let’s talk about definitions and the definition of father.  Well, the way I am looking at it, the “N” word has a definition also.  But, as Black people we were and still are called that by many people.  So, does that mean since we are called that, we fit the definition.  NO. So, just because father’s definition includes the word man, does not mean it only fits a man.  

    If you want to be PROUD on father’s day, do your fatherly duties.  Stop giving others reasons to “degrade” us.  But, in the mean time, I still remain a proud, SINGLE, black mother!!!! 

    • LOVEblackLOVE

      I agree with Dr. Boyce. The concept is ridiculous and another example of how the faults and flaws of black america are high-lighted. Single parent homes exist in all races.

      I respectfully say the following. Instead of being told “if you have sex, be ready to raise a child” How about telling our girls “wait until marriage to have sex” or “use birth control” Saying “be ready to have a raise a child” is indirectly saying be prepared to NOT have a man in your life. Black America needs to turn off BET, leave Hip hip alone, get out there and encourage their boys and their men. I am a Black Latina. In my culture we idolize our men. My father is everything. I can not imagine having a child out of wedlock because that was NEVER the example set for me. 98% of the people in my community are married. We behave as respectful women, which is why we have no problem with getting and maintaining a marriage.

      Uplift your black man. Take example from women of other races. See how they interact with their partners. The main thing I have observed from women of other races is that they have lives outside of their relationship. They are happy outside of the union. They support love and never berate their partner.

      Again, black women-we need to be responsible. Get on birthcontrol. Do not procreate out of wed-lock. Be certain of the man you allow in your bed. Uplift your boys-from early. Call them kings. Nurture them, enrich them. BE the change you want.

    • sweetgabrown

      GOT DANG IT! YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT AND LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS GET INVOLVED WITH WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT!  THE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE
      AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING
      APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THAT’S
      WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT.. YOUR SON CAN GIVE YOU A CARD THEN ON ANY DAY NOT THAT DAY THAT WAS DESIGNED FOR MEN!!!! SMH

  • SR

    thanks for being courageous enough to say something about this…….women in the black community have dealt with this for so long (I mean fatherlessness) that we’ve started belittling the importance of a man; to the point where if a woman expresses that she even feels anything for a man and wants a traditional family and not one where she has to be a single mother, the truth is that she’s looked down upon and looked at as weak by her female counterparts…….so again…..thanks……..

  • JDex

    First, you have the wrong card cover posted, Dr. Boyd.  You have posted the cover of a Mahogany Mother’s Day card.  One of the TWO Father’s Day cards for mothers in the Mahogany line this year featured a photo of a Black woman on the cover holding a flower with the following editorial:

    To Mother With Love

    Every day is a good day to thank you 

    for the love you give,

    the prayers you say,

    and the hours you work

    to see that your children

    are brought up right.

    Whatever is needed,

    that’s what you provide

    without even thinking twice.

    That’s why I’m thanking you today.

    For everything.  Because everything

    is what you’ve given me, Mother.

    Dr. Boyce I personally think that a lot of your anger is misdirected.  I think you need to direct a good portion of your anger towards your fellow fathers.  I also think that you should listen to Townana (video) when she speaks about the perspective of the child of a single mother.  The children of single parents are sending these cards to their mothers.  The mothers aren’t buying them for themselves.  If anyone is “highjacking” this holiday, it’s the children of these single mothers who want to show their love and appreciation to the one parent that is or has raised them up.  These children are trying to accentuate the positive NOT the negative.

    Also, let me highlight a sentence in Hallmark’s response to you:

    Please note that our general Hallmark Father’s Day line also included a “To Mother on Father’s Day” card and several “Like a Father” cards to acknowledge those who play a father-like role in someone’s life.

    • sweetgabrown

      YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT OF THE ARTICLE….. YALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO COMPREHEND WHAT YOU ARE READING SERIOUSLY! HE POINT OF THIS ARTICLE WAS ABOUT A HALLMARK CARD TARGETED TO THE
      AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY IN THEIR MAHOGANY SERIES OF CARDS GIVING
      APPRECIATION TO”MOTHERS ON FATHER’S DAY”  THAT MAKES NO SENSE! THATS
      WHAT THE ARTICLE WAS ABOUT!  DOES IT NOT SEEM STRANGE TO YOU THAT THESE MOTHER’S DAY CARD FOR A DAY RECOGNIZED FOR FATHERS(MEN) WAS ONLY IN THE MAHOGANY SERIES?????  THEY COULD HAVE CHOSEN ANY DAY IN THE WORLD FOR THIS CARD TO COME  OUT BUT THEY CHOSE IT ON FATHER’S DAY! I MEAN COME ON… SUBLIMINAL …SMH

  • guestestwitthebestest

    I am conflicted on this issue.  There are many powerful points made for and against the cards.  I don’t particularly like much about anything any company makes in this unnatural, seemingly Godless society, so, I’m not quick to defend a major company like Hallmark, but for the fathers-with-vaginas, I’m not quick to negate the fact that some ladies might deserve it.

    But, I think what most people are debating is whether or not a woman has the ability to be a man.  Uh, obviously not — outside of many years of therapy and major, expensive surgeries…and even still.  But, I will entertain the idea that many women have a better idea of what a man’s job entails and how to execute that job, than many men do.  Because I’m not a sexist, rather a genderist, I don’t think that our “jobs” are inherent in our loins, tatooed on our cells (outside of childbirth itself, which, well, we all know the impact it has on the female loin).  I think socialization provides a great number of our ideas about the duties we think each gender is responsible for and since many men are no longer being socialized to be typical or stereotypical men, there is a crisis in gender role identity.  Women are claiming the masculine duties that were once exclusive to men, whether be out of necessity or because they enjoy gender bending.  Who knows?  The reasons are so vast and complex, it’s hard for me to know quickly enough and thoroughly enough to reduce it down to a shallow argument about greeting cards.

    But, if I had to, from personal experience, I would say, the cards have a place.  I am a single mother of three, which includes a son and I do all the rearing.  I play with the dolls and kick the butt in tae kwon do.  I go to work, and do the homework.  I knit and sew, and I shake and bake on the basketball court.  I give the hugs and kisses and protect myself and my children from intruders.  I do the sweet talkin’ and make the business deals.  I do the real life bringin’ home the bacon and fryin’ it up.  I’m a mother all day, every day, but I do a father’s job.  If you want to get me, or a mother like me, a card saying happy father’s day, so be it.  It is only a slight if any of us takes it too seriously.

    My thinking is this:  there will be motherless and fatherless homes, along with the children in them, with or without Hallmark turning a buck.  This whole back and forth reminds me of syphallis.  In the second stages, there comes a full body rash, with swollen glands, chapped lips, and engorged organs.  Now, you can go and get some cream for the rash, antibiotics for the swelling, and lip balm for the crusty mouth — which is what arguing about Hallmark is.  OR, you can go get a shot of penecillan in yo’ ass and be done with the disease — which is what revolution is. 

    If you are crying racism and are an Afrikan in the west, dry your eyes and shut your trap.  You already know that you live in a society that does not want you unless you are enslaved or dead.  That is the truth.  Quit combating the symptoms and administer a cure for the disease.  After all the liberation efforts of your forefathers (Happy Father’s Day) and foremothers, you should know by now that there is a need for liberation efforts, yet the efforts themselves have been nearly ineffective.  It is paramount to readdress what is truly ailing us.

    I’m not saying don’t be concerned with image.  I’m saying don’t be so concerned with image.  In the end, it is all the things that were executed in the dark, that we did not see, that led to the image, that should trouble us more, that we should not only be concerned about, but refuse to allow it to continue to exist.

  • Elfulano

    Retroactively the card should be sent to Sally Hemmings  (maybe Hagar, too)and all of the the other enslaved women whose children were shunned by the fathers.  Before too many stones are cast at the “Black, Negro, African-American” fathers, remember that the British/North American tradition did not recognize them as heads of households almost until and maybe even until the present.

  • Redsand1989

    I did not meet my father until I was 16.  And to this day,  our relationship is vague. And yes,  I ve call my mother on fathers day a time or two,  just a joke and to show appreciation for what she has done and continues to do.  But I would never get a card or ever celebrate my mother on fathers day.  A mother could never or ever will be a father.  That’s not the way LORD intended it.   
    My husband and I have been married for 22 years and we both grew up in single parent house holds.  We made a committment to give our children what we did not have,  and that was a two parent house hold.  There are several issues going on in society that are contributing to this epidemic that has been going on for years now.  If we want to see a change in our communities pertaining to this matter,  each one needs to teach one.  It has got to start at home. And stop glamorizing the issue as if it is supposed to the norm.

    • Clwho2004

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  • Anonymous

    @167750601de912b8e9958338e6e54f4c:disqus :   It is YOU who are missing the point of the article.  Why do you assume that you are the only one who understands that Hallmark produced a card in the Mahogany series that is suitable to be given to black women on Father’s day ?   You overlook the fact that they also produced a card in the Mahogany series that is suitable to give a MAN on Mother’s day.   You are angry because you say that other races have households being headed by women.  Yeah, but the black community has more households headed by a single woman than ANY OTHER RACE !!   So if the shoe fits . . . 
    If you’re going to be unset, be upset with all those black sperm donors who choose not to be a part of their kids lives, not with Hallmark for recognizing the many roles black women are forced to play and acknowledging it in a card.   How many black women have you acknowledged on Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, or any other day ?   I am tired of black men misbehaving and then trying to blame anybody and everybody else for noticing.  

    It’s the man, it’s prison system, it’s the drugs, it’s the discrimination, it’s always some stupid rationalization for their bad behavior.   NO, IT’S YOUR TIRED BLACK ASS THAT’S THE PROBLEM !!  Man-up for a change and accept some personal responsibility !!  Black women have and it’s about time that black men did too.   

    Did you get that ?   Do you think you can comprehend that ?   Or are you still too busy whining ?!!!