A Stunning Tribute to Black Mommas: Is This Your Mother by Chance?




There used to be a time when Black children were the best behaved children in the world, now look at them, Time out my foot!!!


1. Have you ever been called downstairs from upstairs, the back of the house, or from the front of the house to get the remote, change the channel, or bring her a glass of ice water?

2. Have you ever been hit with an extension cord, a switch, or the nearest shoe?


3. Have you ever had to pick your own switch off the tree and got sent back because the one you picked was too little?


4. Have you ever been burned on your ear with a straightening comb?


5. Have you ever been hit in the head or knuckles with a comb or hair brush?


6. Have you ever been told to ‘Shut up or I’ll give you something t o cry about’ or beat with a belt while she pronounces every syllable, ‘Didn’t—I—tell—you—not—to-do—that—no—more?!’


7… Your ponytails or plaits were so tight, you got those little bumps around your scalp?


8. The white people in the school office (principal, secretary, etc) were afraid of her?


9. You were scared to go home when you had a bad report card?


10. Alcohol, peroxide, cocoa butter, and vaseline were the main items in the bathroom cabinet. And that red hot water bottle hanging behind the bathroom door?



11 You were never ‘on punishment’ – just got whooping right out of the shower.


12. Have you ever been pinched for going to sleep in church?

13. She made you participate in every church activity (choir, Sunday school, Junior Usher board, Easter play, Christmas Play, etc?)


14.. Has she ever come inside and picked you up from the school dance in hair rollers and her gown or pajamas on under her coat?


15. When you ask her for something, her response was..’You got a job?’


16. Have you ever been beaten for something your brother or sister did just because you were around?


17. She vacuums every day just so the carpet can have lines in it?


18. Have you ever been told to turn off the TV, get off the phone, or sit down and be quiet when it’s storming outside because “the Lord was doing his work?”

19.. Friends, family, and friends of the family try to keep you out of trouble because they know your mother and how she is?


20. You were afraid to call the child abuse hotline (because you weren’t allowed to use the phone without her permission)?


21. She had to talk to God.. ‘Lord, please don’t let me hurt this child!!!’ before she gives you a whipping.


22. You knew NOT to talk about what went on inside your house with Anybody (other family members, friends, school authority, etc), because you were told, ‘What goes on in this house, stays in this house!!!’

23) In spite of all the challenges, you will always know that she never would have done any of these things if she didn’t love you so much.  You are more loyal to her than any other person on the planet and she is the reason you are the person you are today.















  • Beverly

    That bring back fond memories for me. My Mother is no longer with me. But just to read what you posted speaks very loud and clear. I can say too this day I am an adult now, divorced with a child, I can truly say the things I learned from my Mother are with me daily, she was a very wise and beautiful woman. At that time I did not understand what she was doing, the conclusion is, she was doing it out of Love. 

  • Willenamiller

    God Bless our Mothers!
    What a lovely tribute to them.
    They are strong and beautiful and represent the “rainbow.”

  • Anonymous

    The common thread of ‘Americanization’ is that we celebrate the mothers according to someone’s preconceived notions of how everyone’s mother is. The human mother is wrought with all sorts of discrepancies that are generally psychological.

    When we think of mothers we should not only think of the good ones, we should also think about, and pause for, the bad ones who’s psychological problems have created some very mixed up, desperate and violent children, which in turn create sick of mind, desperate and mixed up children of their own.(Not to mention the mothers who train their children to be racist, scheming, and conniving leaders of men).

    It is a fact that the minute a person begins to physically harm another person, especially a child, that person is taught the rudimentary aspects of violence.
    After suffering any physical violence upon themselves people may be able to curb their own violent behavior, but are more susceptible to allowing a system of violence around them ie, the death penalty, and war among other forms violent acceptances.

    It isn’t stern and violent conditioning as children that creates good adults, it’s maturity and/or the fear of penalties, retaliations, and a common notion to live and let live. Yet as this common thread is followed by the common citizen, it isn’t followed by more powerful and legally state sanctioned men who war on weaker nations at will.

    As some praise mothers as a whole, don’t forget the moms who do terrible psychological and physical harm to their children, teach them racism, or worse murder them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/AskHeartBeat Candace Williams

      There always has to be one killjoy in the bunch. Because your mother was screwed up and messed your head all up, don’t sit up here writing a book, trying to ruin a good time for everyone else. I had a pleasant childhood experience and can laugh at these memories. I got my ass TORE UP but even if I didnt deserve that one, I deserve it for something I got away with last month. My Momma AND Grandmomma were just like this. And author left out the #1 saying from the Black Momma Handbook “Girl, I brought you into this world, and I will take you out!” hahahaha!!

      • Flextimesurvey2001

        I am glad you a pleasant childhood.  

        I am so tired of hiding the fact that didn’t have a pleasant childhood.  I am tired of being too embarrassed to share my experiences as a kid. I have a right to share my opinion just like you whether you like it or not.  Don’t give me this crap of “we are all doing bad” or “your mother just did something you didn’t like.”  Well, she did do something I didn’t like….she didn’t protect me from husband raping all the time. In addition to that she never nurtured me, taunted me, hated my father and took it out on me.   I still have flash backs of this.  I refuse to have a relationship with her.I am tired of people telling me I should love my mother despite her transgressions and neglect.  We have no problems talking poorly about men and fathers why not mothers?  This is not being a kill joy it is telling the truth.   Some women purposely get knocked up to get sympathy from others because this is the only way the can get attention.  Bring bastard children into this world is not a sign of strength to the single mother. It is a sign of a little mental illness and stupidity.

  • claudia

    Whoever wrote this about Black Mamas must have came from my household. Everything they said was my upbringing. I am glad that my parents loved me enough to make me the person I am today. Whooping and discipline in the home is not bad for a child at all. The parent just had to know how to go about disciplining because every child is not the same.This brings back so many memories for me. My grandmother was a praying women who spoke wisdom into my ears as a child. Thank you for remembering such strong willed black women who succeeded in raising their children the right way and thats in Godly fear.

  • Sandihunt

    Great Post!

  • Flextimesurvey2001

    My mother allowed me to be repeatedly raped by her husband and blames me in addition to everything else written.  I chose not to have a relationship with her since at 8 years old I seduced her 50 year old husband

  • http://profiles.google.com/greeneink Renee Greene

    Yep. All that.

    And I’m not dead or injured or psychologically bruised. I’m over 50 and my mother and grandmother are both dead.

    There were things that hurt me worse than those arse-whuppings, switchings, and pinches…a lot worse.

  • aerie

    This is child abuse on every level. It’s not ‘old skool’, it’s not bible discipline, or tough love, it’s not funny, it’s not humorous or entertainment when Madea slaps a child for chewing gum too loud, it’s unacceptable to drag a 2yo around by the arm and so on….it’s become a horrible, corrosive, erroneous part of our culture that must change if we want our future generations to flourish and respect others’ property, their own property, themselves, their family and other human beings. Only when we stop being racists ourselves and take some personal and collective responsibility can we make significant change for ourselves and our future generations.

    Black mothers and grandmothers – love your children, pick them up when they cry, be kind to them, meet their needs until they’re able to meet them on their own. You *cannot* spoil a child with too much love or a loving touch or kindness. 

    Respectful parents raise respectful children. Until our mothers teach us how to love and respect ourselves, [teaching us how to do that by loving and respecting our children & their minds, hearts, by allowing them their own voice, feelings and thoughts that *matter* to us – and that we, as black children – as human beings *matter*] our race as a whole will be unable to love and respect each other or any one else; and we will continue to be our own worst enemy.